It is hard enough in today's world to build self-esteem when you have people who like to put you down. Some people do this for the simple fact they are bored, or they are jealous, etc. By putting yourself down, however, this is nothing but a losing battle. When you put yourself down, you are really inflicting injury on your own self-esteem and may even lash out at other people for no reason. You might fall into a depressive hole to where no one really wants to be around you because you feel you are a loser, worthless, etc.

When you make a comment to yourself such as: "I always make mistakes." Let's look at this comment and tear it apart. First of all, it is not possible for you to make mistakes ALL the time. Everyone makes mistakes, big ones, small ones, and ones that only matter to you. So right there you have already argued the fact that you are incorrect. Instead of saying, "I always make mistakes", say something like, "I made this mistake but I will learn next time, so now I know." When someone tells you that you always make mistakes, stand up for yourself because if you do, then that person will think twice about giving you BS that you do not need to hear. Make sure you do not lower yourself to their standards by trying to put them down as well. I realize there will be times when this might be necessary to get your point across, etc. But for the most part, just stand up for yourself and walk away.

"I wish I was as pretty as her or as handsome as him." First of all, just because you think this person is more attractive then you does not mean that everyone thinks that. Yes, physical attractiveness plays a big role in attracting other people, but you won't be attracting the right kind of people if you put yourself down. Do I wish I had Madonna's arms? Heck yes I do, but I know that if I work hard enough I can have arms that are strong and may even look better then hers. Do I wish that I had Angelina Jolie's sexiness? Sure I do. But how can I compare myself to any celebrity when in fact if I had all that money I could be sexy like that too. But then if you think about it, if you decide to go out in your PJ's to get the mail, someone is going to take a picture of you and that picture will be all over and most of the time you will not get pleasant responses. We all get down about our looks from time to time, but this is why you need to do things that will make you feel better. Such as getting a different hair cut, different color of hair, painting your nails, trying new makeup, wearing clothes you thought you would never wear. When you walk with your head held high then you will start attracting people because you are giving off confidence. Another thing you have to consider is that being what you consider "pretty" will only take you so far. You have to have the brains, personality, attitude, etc behind that pretty face of yours.

"If I could be thin or lose just 5 more pounds, I will feel better." I admit, I am this type of person. Even though I have been told by everyone around me that I am too skinny, I still feel like I am that big girl who needs to lose weight. If you want to lose weight, then you can, but do not do it because you think you should be thin. Being thin does not mean that you are healthy. I mean, look at some of these models. I am not saying that all models are like this, but it looks like a lot of them do not eat. When I watch a model walk down the runway, I almost think she is going to fall and pass out because she has not eaten in awhile. Everyone is looking at the clothes, and I am looking at the woman thinking, I hope she is going to make it. No matter what size you are, if you want to change it, then try to, if for some reason you can not change your weight (hypertension, genes, medical reasons) then do what you can to feel better. Do not think about how you can not get up the stairs because of your weight (big or small) but think about how you can get up those stairs if you start taking better care of yourself. There is only one you in the world, do you know how important that is? No one is like you!

"I am worthless" First, find out why you think like that. Do you feel like that because someone told you? What were their reasoning behind it? Are you going to let someone have that power over you? Do not let someone else control your emotions. Your emotions are your own and they are yours to keep. You can express them anyway you want, just make sure you know the consequences at times. Do you feel worthless because it seems that everyone around you is super mom or super dad and you can barely get home in time to pick up kids, make dinner, help with homework, etc? Well, guess what, you are not worthless. Try thinking like this: "It is amazing that I am able to hold down a full time job, take care of my family, help kids with homework, and do household chores in one day. I really abused my body but I made it. So I am going to relax on ______ day because I need to refresh and everything is just going to have to wait." Not only did you tell yourself you are a great person, you also rewarded yourself by taking care of your body. The best thing in the world is the word NO when you get stressed out and need a timeout for yourself. If you are sick and you manage to make lunch for yourself, then that is a step. You are NOT worthless so stop telling yourself that and stop allowing people to make you feel like that. Like I said, you control how you are going to react to something, hold your head high.

By allowing yourself to be put down, you are going to find yourself in a mud hole. If you have friends who put you down then they are not friends and you need to let them go. Always remember that you have you. You have to live with yourself everyday. You need to like yourself. By liking yourself, you become more positive and then you will attract positive people. It will be a hard and bumpy road, but I think that you can do it. The work is worth it.